Some Bullshit Excuse

Twenty-something dead beat trying to figure herself out
Summer Time Blues 

Summer Time Blues 

You may not believe this, but I used to be kind of fun. I went out. I had friends. I related to people. What the fuck happened to me?

In the past six years I have let a lot of my hobbies go to the wayside. Due to college, due to work, due to friendships/relationships, due to illness, due to laziness, due to anxiety. Fuck that shit. I used to really enjoy things. I’m bringing it back. All of it. Everything that used to make me happy. 

Summer. I can’t. The heat. No thanks. People. Less thanks. I don’t know how I got here. 

Every once in a while i think to myself ” I could make someone really happy one day.” And then I collapse into laughter and tears because, yeah, right. 

unbuildwalls:

Current goals: to become independently wealthy and to have sweet abs

Same 

Nora Malone

—The Miles Between Us

Big step up from “My Mom is The Bomb.” Happy Mother’s Day. 

I keep forgetting that tumblr is a thing. Whoops.

My parents are hands down the two most outstanding people I have ever met, for very opposite reasons. My mom lives for her work despite the pay (that nearly never makes ends meet) and my dad wakes up everyday for a job he hates, because it pays the bills. My dad has found passion in life and it is music and friends and photos and memories, but he hasn’t been on a single date since the divorce because he gave up on that kind of love. My mom dates and hopes to find the passion that she has been looking for, but has the absolute worst fucking taste. I feel like I’ve adopted the worst and best of them. But not in the right combination. I live for my work because it pays the bills and gives me somewhere to go everyday. And I have the absolute worst fucking taste because I gave up on believing that I deserve passion and friends and memories. So I sit alone in my room being content with my nothingness. Complaining, but not complaining, because this is the loneliest and happiest I’ve ever been. Just who I am I guess. 

I saved up for a Gameboy for over a year. I think I put away twice the amount that it would actually cost. I made a contract that it wouldn’t interfere with my school and that I wouldn’t let Liam use it if it started to interfere with his. My dad was amazed by my effort. We went to Sears to look at gameboys. I wanted the yellow one that came with Pokemon. We decided to sleep on it and buy it the next day. We almost got hit by another car on the way home, a drunk driver I presume. He/she/they would have hit me on the passenger side, if contact had been made chances are I wouldn’t have survived. I never went back to Sears. I never got my Gameboy. Haven’t played a second of Pokemon ever since. 

(Source: fyspringfield.com, via 86thefuture)

I have come in contact with a lot of really talented human persons in the past two weeks and it makes me want to give up on everything.

The Salt Room Loves You. 

The Salt Room Loves You. 

My youth was wasted on nostalgia. Always missing/pissing/moaning about some one/thing/where that I could no longer touch with my hands, with my eyes, instead of enjoying the beauty of the people and places right in front of me. My biggest mistake was thinking of the past as the good old days. 
So now I speak in present tense despite its lack of interest and adventure to others, I enjoy my quiet nights alone in my room/afternoons reading in the sun. This is who/where I want to be. 

Been single for three years now (not in a I’ve not been seeing people way,but the last time someone said out loud “I’m in a relationship with Nora” kind of way).  I wish I could afford to be picky. Because really I want to cook dinner,watch old movies, we’d both compliment the hero and the heroin for their charm, and then put on Lucero and fuck all night. Some dudes hate cuddling. 9 times out of ten im not feeling it either, but we’d have it figured out. and Seymour would sleep at our feet. And im just drunk and rambling. I’ll be single forever, whatever.
I think I could make someone happy one day,